“Remember Me” is a mediocre to average film from start to a few moments before the end. Then it dives right into what might be one of the most unnecessary, insulting, and ridiculous endings that will have you watching the remaining few minutes shaking your head in shame and disgust that you spent two hours of your life sitting in a theatre, waiting to see where this was going, curious to see how they would resolve the issues of the movie only for them to arrive at THAT.

If you have any intentions of ever seeing “Remember Me,” you might want to stop reading right now until you get a chance to take in the film. Because this review is going to be spoiler-heavy. It has to be. It would actually be irresponsible of me not to discuss specific details of “Remember Me,” particularly the ending, because that’s what the whole movie rests on. So, if you were planning on going in fresh, you might want to think twice about proceeding. You have been warned.

“Remember Me” is almost set up as a more serious version of “She’s All That,” except substitute an always smoking, always brooding Robert Pattinson for an always goofy Freddie Prinze Jr. Now, of course minus the humor of “She’s All That,” there are many more layers to the characters involved here, but the basic premise of the movie is about a guy who decides to start dating a girl for ulterior motives, falls in love with the girl during the process, reveals the truth to the girl, and then the aftermath. Sure, we’ve seen this plot play out over many different films and TV shows (“10 Things I Hate About You” also comes to mind recently), but, for the sake of argument, The Kidd is going to stick with “She’s All That” to make my point.

So, now try to recall “She’s All That” with a little help from The Kidd. Freddie Prinze Jr. gets talked into dating Rachael Leigh Cook at the prompting of his asshole best friend for all the wrong reasons. Through the charade, Prinze begins to develop feelings for his female counterpart, she feels likewise, they fall in love. Eventually, it gets to the point where the basis of their relationship can’t stay a secret any longer, and Cook finds out that Prinze wasn’t into her from the start. He only asked her out, because he’s an asshole, but he explains how he got to know her through their time spent together and how he grew to care for that girl. He was able to reveal all of his secrets to someone he trusted. She was able to do the same… but it’s too late. She now hates him for hurting her. He hates himself for being a dick. Because we can’t have this end with the two of them split like this, eventually they get back together. She forgives him for what he did, because, regardless of the past, their current emotions are real, and they are able to resume their relationship as it stood before the truth got in the way and messed things up. Everything seems to be resolved and ready to send us off knowing that this couple will live happily ever after, and then Freddie Prinze Jr. goes out one morning and… BAM…!!!

HE DIES IN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER ON 9/11!!!

What…? W…T…F…?! Really…?! Seriously…?! WHAT… THE… FUCK…?!

Yep. That’s right. Just when everything was nicely wrapped up, they decided to kill the protagonist using the most heinous terrorist attack to ever take place on American soil as a plot device. Classy… really classy.

And right when you are able to wrap your head around what is about to happen, you find yourself saying to yourself “please tell me they’re not going where i think they’re going.” But it’s no use. They’re going there… and it is awful.

I was able to do the math of the major events that take place throughout the film – the date of a murder, the time of a suicide – and, while I had my fingers crossed that they weren’t planning on bringing September 11th into this for no reason whatsoever, I should have known better. And it isn’t just the use of the date we’re stuck with either. Oh, no… you get a full pullback of Robert Pattinson looking out the window of a high floor in one of the towers. Yep, a digitally recreated version of the World Trade Center makes an appearance also. Luckily, we’re spared having to see a special effects-driven look at the planes hitting the buildings, but I’m not entirely sure why. Granted, I never have to see those images again for as long as I live, what with them being permanently etched in my memory forever. But why stop where they did? I mean, you’re already using denigrating September 11th by using it to drive the end of your movie… why not just go all the way? Well, that’s simple… because there was never any thought given to the responsibility that comes with invoking 9/11 for anything. It was almost as if they decided to end the movie with September 11th, and then wrote everything backwards, since there is absolutely nothing that takes place throughout the movie that would lead you to think Pattinson’s dying would take place when and where it does. And that’s what is so infuriating about where “Remember Me” goes. 9/11 is used to get you talking about this movie, to get you debating and arguing about why it’s included, to get you to actually remember “Remember Me.” Well, don’t worry, Summit Entertainment, director Allen Coulter, or writer Will Fetters… there is no way I will ever forget what I saw in “Remember Me.” In fact, this movie might go down in my history books as having the single worst movie ending I have ever seen. Congratulations. It really takes something to claim that position, but you were all able to do it with ease. Wow.

I won’t use the argument that it’s too soon, because I don’t know that there will ever be a time when using 9/11 in a movie will be okay. Granted, there have been two films released since 2001 that have centered around that fateful day, Paul Greengrass’ “United 93” and Oliver Stone’s “World Trade Center,” but those are two movies based around the events of September 11th. They try to tell stories of heroism of those involved in what happened that day, and you can argue that they are movies you wouldn’t want to see because of their subject matter, and I understand your perspective. But, in defense of them, they didn’t just throw 9/11 out there as a way of killing off a character, who could have easily been hit by a car or been stabbed in a mugging or any much more logical deaths. Something along those lines would have had the same emotional impact they were attempting to yank from me, but without taking me out of the movie to think to myself “I can’t believe they just fuckin’ did that.”

“Remember Me” follows Robert Pattinson as Tyler, a young guy who seems to have given up on life, a guy who doesn’t give a shit anymore. Sure, Tyler could have made something out of his life, since he’s presented as being smart and charming, with every opportunity available to him that he ever wanted with the financial resources his father, played by Pierce Brosnan, could aid him with. But, he found his brother dead at the age of 22, having killed himself… and from then on, he hasn’t been the same. He’s grown closer to his family – his little sister, his mom, his stepfather, as a result… but his dad didn’t handle it very well at all, and pushed himself into his work, as a partner of a big time law firm and away from his family. There you have all the basis for a strained relationship between Tyler and Mr. Charles Hawkins, and, being a more complex role than Edward Cullen, Pattinson has a lot more to do here. Instead of just staring at his love interest, he gets to laugh and yell some, too. He gets to show a bit more personality than the mysteriously angsty vampire will allow. He gets to show a little bit of his acting skill here, and he’s not that bad. He’s still not all that charismatic to me. He still comes across as rather drab and boring. And, frankly, when all the girls swoon over his giant wall of hair and his quiet demeanor, I just don’t get it. Needless to say, Pattinson fans will love whatever he does, whatever he says, whatever he’s in. And the anti-Pattinson fans don’t want to see anything he’s in anyway. So that leaves those of us in the middle to pass judgment, and I don’t think there’s anything about Tyler to really hook you on the love story of “Remember Me,” because it is entirely dependent upon the relationship between him and Ally (Claire from “Lost”), and that’s not a good thing.

Ally has her own issues, having watched her mother gunned down on a subway platform, after already giving up all of her valuables in a robbery. She’s left to be raised in a single-parent household, which wouldn’t be a problem if her dad wasn’t a cop, Sgt. Neil Craig, played by Chris Cooper. He makes up for the fact that he lost his wife by smothering his daughter, carefully keeping an eye on every move she makes, everything she does. Clearly the products of two strained parent-child relationships that both suffered traumatic losses can only lead to something good (insert eyeroll here).

After a night of drinking with his annoying idiot friend Aidan, played to convincing irritation levels by Tate Ellington, Tyler and his bud get arrested for trying to stop a random act of violence with their own random act of violence. Yet, after being cleared as merely trying to break things up, Tyler feels the need to antagonize the arresting officer for taking in the wrong guys. Who’s the arresting officer? That was too easy. Of course, coincidentally it was Sgt. Craig, who coincidentally has a daughter that goes to the same school as Tyler and Aidan. Aidan coincidentally sees her get dropped off by her dad one morning, and then the plan is hatched for Tyler to put his smooth moves on the daughter of the cop with what in mind exactly? Who knows? Was it meant to hurt her, which would hurt her dad in a roundabout way? Was it to piss off the cop with the knowledge that his daughter is dating a criminal? Does it matter? The plan goes into effect, and we’re off and running with this stupid movie towards the worst finish line ever.

I wish I could say even the middle of the movie was tolerable, but it is average on a generous day, because there is no reason to care about this relationship between these two people period. There is zero chemistry between them, to the point that you’re surprised that there was ever a second date, because their first date that we get to witness was boring as hell. You know… the more I think about it, the more the ending pisses me off. “Remember Me” has reduced 9/11 to a cheap plot device to get you upset about Robert Pattinson dying, but it’s not him we give a shit about. It’s remembering where we were on that day, what we saw, and what we will never be able to forget.

I grew up in New Jersey, right in the shadow of New York City, and, for the first 18 years of my life, I was able to see the New York skyline every single day, which included the World Trade Center. It was a part of my everyday life, so there was deep emotional impact on September 11, 2001, when those events unfolded. Even going back to visit family and friends, it isn’t the same to look out at the city because of that glaring omission. I had been to Ground Zero in December of 2001. I saw the twisted metal. I saw the dust still on the streets. I know people who were lucky enough somehow to not be in one of those buildings on that day. I know people that weren’t so lucky. I know friends who have lost loved ones, family members, dear friends on that tragic day. So, for all of that to be used as just a way to kill Robert Pattinson is disgraceful. I’m not bothered that Pattinson died. I’m bothered that you used 9/11 to do it, you assholes.

I’d like to send thank-you’s to both director Allen Coulter and writer Will Fetters for making “Remember Me.” My worst movies of all-time list was getting rather stale, and yet they managed to create a motion picture that now sits firmly atop those rankings, bumping the crown off “Napoleon Dynamite” after all these years. And, to find a movie that can bring about such outrage in me by merely mentioning its name is a special feat. But, good job, “Remember Me.” You managed to do it, and, in accomplishing that, guaranteed that I will always remember you… just for all the wrong reasons.

“She’s Out of My League” is the latest attempt at a teen comedy that can be raunchy yet with a heart at the exact same time. The only problem is that none of its characters are teens, so, instead of having some immature kids running around getting themselves into hijinks, we’re left watching 20-somethings that should clearly know better. Shenanigans by high schoolers is funny. Shenanigans by adults is more sad than anything. Now that doesn’t mean “She’s Out of My League” doesn’t have its moments. It sure does, as Jay Baruchel takes awkward to a whole new level, and it makes for some pretty solid moments, armed complete with laugh out loud setups. However, “She’s Out of My League” is more miss than hit, which results in a film that always feels like it’s trying way too hard. A perfect example of that would be a character named Devon (Nate Torrence), who relates every romantic situation he sees back to a Disney movie, be it “Aladdin,” “Beauty and the Beast,” or others. Of course, the first time, it’s funny in that WTF-type of way. But the more they keep going back to the same well, the more it comes across as creepy and sad. And that’s where “She’s Out of My League” ends up… not in the WTF-territory, but a bit in the camp of creepy and sad.

Jay Baruchel plays Kirk, a guy who works as a TSA officer at the airport, who is left pining for an ex-girlfriend that broke up with him two years ago, has moved onto a new guy, and still treats him like shit as she did when they were together. Kirk has no confidence whatsoever, as the good he did feel in finding someone who liked him was shattered by this crazy bitch a couple years ago. Even his friends are down on him, trying to raise his spirits by letting him know he could probably do better than her, but not too much better, because, due to his looks, his shitty car (a Dodge Neon), and his lack of any real career prospects, he’s only about a 5 on the attractive scale, and that’s on a good day.

However, one day while working and trying to be the nice guy he always is, he’s able to help the super-hot Molly, played by super-hot Alice Eve, get through security without being harassed or fondled by his superior, and find her lost phone which she left back at the security gate. From there, it leads to him returning the phone to her, and, in the process, actually catching her interest. For so long, Molly has dated the guys everyone has expected her to date – the jocks, the fighter pilots, etc. However, it never works out, because they, too, are insecure and unable to handle what they think is her perfection. So, for once, she goes for the safe pick, the guy who is nice to her, who has a sense of humor and personality, who will treat her well. She goes for Kirk, and their romance begins to take off… except for the fact that their best friends are complete and total assholes, who constantly remind them of how this can’t possibly work out, because she’s too hot for him, and he’s… well, he looks like Jay Baruchel. T.J. Miller is untolerable as Kirk’s buddy Stainer, a guy who thinks he’s God’s gift to women, except for the fact that you wouldn’t want anything to do with a girl who hooked up with that guy. He takes obnoxious to new places, none of which are funny. He’s more that guy that you make it a point not to hang around with, because he’s female Kryptonite, than the guy you want to call your best friend. And some friends they are… they constantly put Kirk down for all the reasons Molly wouldn’t be attracted to him, and, as a result, his own securities threaten their relationship.

You’ve got some side story about both Kirk’s and Molly’s families that never really goes anywhere, and feels more like filler than anything else, complete with necessary premature ejaculation joke that seems almost customary with a film like this. Jizzing in the pants was funny the first time we saw it, but, by now, it’s a pretty tired crutch. However, the moments that do work in “She’s Out of My League” are the ones we get to share alone with Kirk and Molly. Baruchel is able to carry a lot of this movie on his own, as his uncomfortable loser is the kind of guy you root for in these movies. He’s the poster boy for everyone who has ever been told that there’s no way they have a chance with that girl or that guy. And, for that reason, I really wanted to like “she’s Out of My League.” I wanted to get behind a flick that serves up a message that love comes in all forms and shapes, and it’s not only the good-looking people that end up with the guy or the girl. The people who treat their significant others with kindness and respect, who are able to make that person laugh, those people come out ahead also.

Alice Eve is fantastic here, and she has to be. She is a knockout, and the film ultimately rests on her ability to sell you on the fact that she’s attracted to Kirk. And she does. You can buy into the idea of these two getting together, maybe not on the surface at first glance (since we’re always wondering how THAT guy ended up with THAT girl), but once you get a peek inside their relationship, you can totally see it happening. The time you get to spend with these two individuals as a couple is where the hits of “She’s Out of My League” are. It’s too bad the other characters had to be incorporated into the story as well, because they’re really what brings the whole thing down.

You won’t have a bad time seeing “She’s Out of My League.” There’s some testicle shaving that might have you close to tears, and Kirk’s ex-girlfriend Marnie (Lindsay Sloane) is good for a few laughs, but, by and large, you actually deserve better than “She’s Out of My League.” The film might fluctuate around a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10, but that’s only slightly above average. You deserve a smokin’ hot and awesome movie that appreciates you for being an intelligent movie-goer with a fair amount of good taste, not something that talks down to you and treats you like you’re an idiot. You could do a lot worse than “She’s Out of My League,” but you could do a lot better, too. “She’s Out of My League” tries to have it both ways, in being a raunchy comedy, but also having a heart, something the original “American Pie” was able to pull off quite well. And, while you get the feeling, “She’s Out of My League” was going for the same results, it winds up being completely out of its league in those attempts.

I’m not sure I ever needed to relive the events, policies, and decisions that led the United States into Iraq war… and I was right. I didn’t. Paul Greengrass’ “Green Zone” is a fictionalized account of the claims and threats of weapons of mass destruction stockpiles accumulated by Saddam Hussein, which were the reasons the American people, but, more importantly, our government were given for needing to go into Iraq. However, instead of being a political drama and/or thriller about uncovering the truth as to whether or not there are any WMDs that exist, ever existed, or ever will be found, we get a formulaic action movie about one American soldier going off the grid to disprove the intelligence he’s being provided that continues to come up empty. In other words, we get Jason Bourne in Iraq, right down to Matt Damon, which wouldn’t be such a bad thing, if we hadn’t already seen in on three other occasions. And, I was right… I didn’t need to relive or revisit any of this stuff… not in this way.

The Kidd was never one who believed that the war in Iraq was a good idea. There were all types of intel stating that Saddam had dismantled any type of weapons program he had back in the 90s when the United States went over there then for Operation: Desert Storm. Even if he had something in the infant stages, it wasn’t even close to being a threat to striking the United States, and the U.N. weapons inspectors were all set to head into Iraq to see if they could turn up anything, if given the proper amount of time. However, time was something the United States wasn’t willing to give, and we went in, with the President authorized by Congress, having been sold on the idea that if we didn’t, a “mushroom cloud” could be the result of our inaction. With 9/11 hardly a distant memory, it was used as a catalyst to invade Iraq and remove a dictator from power, all while having absolutely nothing to do with the attack on America.

And that’s what leads us into “Green Zone,” with Matt Damon as Chief Roy Miller leads his unit on searches through various intel-supported WMD sites that ironically contain no WMDs. When he begins to question if the intelligence they are receiving is any good, considering the repeated lack of success in finding anything whatsoever, he is met with resistance from his superiors, who insist that he stay the course. However, a CIA higher-up (the always reliable Brendan Gleeson) believes that the neo-conservative way of thinking has clouded our judgment as to why we’re in Iraq and what we’re going to do with moving the country forward. He has a hunch that America is here for all the wrong reasons, and there is something not right about the argument given for WMDs. He partners up with Miller, as a rogue ear for the Captain to come to with any information or findings he may have that prove WMDs don’t exist within Iraq. And then the chase is on, as to who can cover or uncover the truth about why we’re really in Iraq, how we got there, who made the decisions to go, and what they based those decisions on. Of course, it’d be infuriating to see all of this play out over a couple of hours, so, to diffuse our retrospective anger, they’ll throw in some chase scenes and firefights to make it an easier pill to swallow.

But it doesn’t quite work, as “Green Zone” is just familiar territory that we’ve exhausted over the years our debates over whether or not we should be in Iraq and if we should or should not have ever gone in the first place. As someone who was against the war in Iraq from the start, this is all a story I’ve heard too many times before already. I’m all too familiar with the neo-cons in the Bush administration who were dead set on going into Iraq and removing Saddam from power the first chance they could, and, when 9/11 gave them cover to do so, they fudged the intelligence, used scare tactics, and got what they wanted, which was an opportunity to fuck up Iraq. Granted, they didn’t initially plan to screw up the entire country as badly as they did, but when you have idiots who know nothing about the country, its citizens, or the region itself, you’re plenty likely to make plenty of mistakes that would leave us still in Iraq in 2010. So we get the neo-con in the Pentagon, Clark Poundstone, played somewhat as a stereotypical power-hungry government villain by Greg Kinnear, who is fighting his own detractors in both the other branches of the intelligence community, namely Martin Brown, and those seeking to disprove his intelligence source, namely Captain Miller, in order to cover his own ass for the lies he was responsible for spreading. We get Amy Ryan as Lawrie Dayne, a correspondent for The Wall Street Journal, who basically sells the case for war and the intelligence to support it in her articles without ever checking the reliability of it all, simply because the story was too big to pass up. She never bothered to do any journalism in her journalism, because she wanted the exclusive. She wanted to make a name for herself with this major scoop, and did the administration’s bidding without ever really knowing it. And then, there’s Matt Damon who goes all Jason Bourne, by disobeying orders and basically doing whatever the hell he wants, in order to try proving what he believes, which, if untrue, would not lead to a bright future within the Army. It all leads to a chase to secure an Iraqi General, who has all the information that would blow the lid on WMDs, with one side wanting him dead, the other alive… and, as a result, we get the policy pushed aside for the action, which falls flat, because there isn’t enough emphasis placed on the why, only the how.

The script by Brian Helgeland (“L.A. Confidential,” “Mystic River”) is nothing special, as the dialogue at times comes across as very wooden. Matt Damon has never yelled so much so calmly to the point where it feels as if he’s going through the motions at times with a character that doesn’t have much to say. Kinnear’s Poundstone isn’t any better, except for the fact that, in looking back, you can firmly believe that this type of character would be spewing the bullshit that is constantly coming out of his mouth. However, it’s not the fine performance we’re used to getting out of Kinnear, as the nonchalant smugness of Poundstone doesn’t make him any more of an unlikeable bad guy, it just makes him a villainous archetype.

But a major issue with “Green Zone” is how it looks, which falls squarely on the shoulders of director Paul Greengrass. Greengrass is known for shooting everything on handhelds, and keeping his action tight, in order to bring you in close on everything that is going on. However, as much as he wants to make this look like a “Bourne” movie, it couldn’t be further than that, so, in trying to duplicate the overall look, he makes a big mistake. Large portions of the film have a grainy appearance, as if they were shot on someone’s camcorder from about six years ago. And it’s not made any better by the fact that a good portion of his action pieces are shot at night or under some cover of darkness, making it hard to tell at times what the hell you’re even looking at. The nighttime chase scenes are even worse, because, while I have no problem with the shaky cams we’ve seen in the past, trying to run with someone who’s running through the dark streets of Baghdad is a recipe for unintelligible and unwatchable sequences, where it’s hard enough to decipher which way is up, let alone who exactly it is I’m trying to see on-screen.

“Green Zone” is a disappointment that may satisfy those looking for some mindless action, but, on the whole, I found it to be uninteresting, uninspired, and lacking in anything substantial. Even the action sequences are nothing of note, which is unfortunate, because if there were as many compelling and tense firefights as there were cell phones in the audience that managed to light up thanks to the idiots holding them as I watched “Green Zone,” there might have been something watchable here. But, instead, we get a film that, much like its source material, went on bad intelligence that this would be a film people would want to see, but, once they realize what they’re in for, should quickly change their minds, because they were sold on a bill of goods that might turn out to be good, and “Green Zone” just isn’t.

24… that’s it. That’s the number of brave souls willing to take The Kidd’s Oscar Challenge. That’s the number of confident individuals who believe they can out-pick The Kidd when it comes to predicting the winners of all 24 Oscar categories. 24… that’s the number of people The Kidd is planning on sending home sad, disappointed, and empty-handed at the end of this contest. I don’t like to lose. I don’t plan on losing, and I hope you’ve brought your best in knocking me off in my first-ever Oscar Challenge. I would say I wish you the best of luck, because you’re going to need it… but I’d just be lying. I wish you the worst of luck, because… well, let’s face it. I don’t really want you to win, because that would mean I didn’t.

You know the rules… 24 categories, 24 predictions. Score just one higher than me, and you’re a winner. Anything less, and you get nothing.

In addition, we have yet to confirm how many passes for the movies that we are attached to that we will be receiving. In some cases, quantities are limited. So, in such an event, a tiebreaker will be used to determine what winners will receive passes from those small pools of tickets. That tiebreaker will be correct predictions from the top categories to the lesser categories, starting with Best Picture. For example, if we only have one pass for a movie available between two people, and one of them picked “The Hurt Locker” and the other “Avatar,” and “Avatar” came out, that contestant with the correct pick would land the pass.

The order of the tiebreaking categories, in the event of a tie, is as follows:
Best Picture
Best Actor
Best Actress
Best Supporting Actor
Best Supporting Actress
Best Director
Best Adapted Screenplay
Best Original Screenplay
Best Animated Feature
Best Foreign Language Film
Best Cinematography
Best Film Editing
Best Documentary Feature
Best Original Song
Best Original Score
Best Visual Effects
Best Art Direction
Best Costume Design
Best Makeup
Best Sound Mixing
Best Sound Editing
Best Live Action Short Film
Best Animated Short Film
Best Documentary Short

With that clear, here are The Kidd’s Oscar picks:

Best Picture
The Hurt Locker

Best Actor
Jeff Bridges – Crazy Heart

Best Supporting Actor
Christopher Waltz – Inglourious Basterds

Best Actress
Sandra Bullock – The Blind Side

Supporting Actress
Mo’Nique – Precious

Best Director
Kathryn Bigelow – The Hurt Locker

Best Documentary Feature
The Cove

Best Documentary Short
The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant

Best Animated Feature
Up

Best Foreign Language Film
The White Ribbon – Germany

Best Original Screenplay
Quentin Tarantino – Inglorious Basterds

Best Adapted Screenplay
Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner – Up in the Air

Best Cinematography
Avatar

Best Art Direction
Avatar

Best Animated Short Film
A Matter of Loaf and Death

Best Live Action Short Film
The New Tenants

Best Visual Effects
Avatar

Best Costume Design
Coco Before Chanel

Best Film Editing
The Hurt Locker

Best Sound Mixing
Avatar

Best Sound Editing
Avatar

Best Original Score
Up

Best Original Song
“The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” – Crazy Heart

Best Makeup
Star Trek

For the first-time ever, The Kidd will be providing live coverage of the Academy Awards. From the first moment of the show all the way until the final credits roll, The Kidd will be supplying a running commentary of observations, comments, and more throughout the Oscars. In addition, it’ll be as interactive an experience as we can make it, as you’ll be able to vote in polls, send in your questions, and, if you have something worthwhile to add to the conversation, be able to have your comments posted up also.

We hope you’ll follow along with us for the 82nd Annual Academy Awards.

Enjoy the show.

When you take a look at the solid cast involved with “Brooklyn’s Finest,” you’d be right to expect something good. And that’s where “Brooklyn’s Finest” does you wrong, because, even with Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, and Wesley Snipes, you get an average film filled with elements you’ve seen done hundreds of times and done better. In fact, it’s ironic that Antoine Fuqua is behind the camera, because the film feels a lot like it’s trying to be “Training Day Lite,” which would almost make this a sequel/spin-off of sorts to Fuqua’s original film. The dirty cop looking to score more money, so he can help his family, regardless of the rightness or wrongness of his actions… the undercover officer who gets in too deep and becomes emotionally attached to the people he’s in with, only to have to turn on them in order to do their job… hell, even Richard Gere falls in love with a hooker again… now tell me where you haven’t seen all of this before. “Brooklyn’s Finest” tries to suck you into following the different life and career paths that each of these New York City cops has chosen with their actions, but the problem is that when only one out of three is remotely interesting, that can’t be a good sign.

“Brooklyn’s Finest” opens with Vincent D’Onofrio sitting in a car with Ethan Hawke, telling a story of right and wrong… a theme which resonates throughout the film, even if most times it seems forced and ineffective. D’Onofrio is talking about how sometimes doing something wrong turns out to be the right thing to do, about how he is hoping to turn his life around… and BAM!!! He gets shot, killed, and ripped off, as Ethan Hawke has designs on collecting as much dirty money as he can, in order to buy his ever-expanding family a new house that they can all live in, a vast improvement over the few bedrooms where they’re all crammed in now. Had D’Onofrio stayed alive and we got to know more about his character, who, in five minutes, is one of the more complicated characters we get to meet, or I would have settled for a lead-up to how he ended up in this car with a corrupt, thieving officer of the law, we might have been better off. Instead we get stuck with one of our three storylines being about a cop trying to better his home life by whatever means necessary. Perhaps we would be emotionally invested in his moral quandary a bit more if it wasn’t revealed that Hawke’s Sal has two kids. No, wait… he has four kids. Nope… eight. Hold on… there’s two more. Geez… how many kids does this guy have? I could buy an honest cop looking to take money no one would miss or probably doesn’t even know exists to help raise his kids, ease his wife’s burden, etc. But it’s a distraction from Sal’s choices between right and wrong when I’m too focused on the fact that Sal and his wife Angela (Lili Taylor) should stop having sex. I mean, really… didn’t they even give thought to such an option after kid #8 or whatever number they’re up to. Condoms, birth control, a vasectomy…? Ever hear about any of them? It’s hard to sympathize with a character who should know better, and, as a result, there is no mercy to be shown upon him. It’s one thing to understand a guy who is doing something wrong but in order to do something right in the grand scheme of things. But, if that same character is doing something wrong to cover up for the fact that he’s been doing plenty of stupid, then there’s nothing much to see here.

Don Cheadle gives his usual stellar performance as Clarence Butler or Tango, as they know him on the streets. I can never say enough positive about a Don Cheadle role, and, while he does a fine job in “Brooklyn’s Finest,” he is terribly miscast. Regardless of whether he’s an undercover cop or not, Don Cheadle isn’t a guy who runs with gangs from the projects who are out dealing drugs. Name one thing about Don Cheadle that you’ve ever seen that screams hoodrat. It’s amazing to me that no one popped Cheadle’s Tango during that time, because you couldn’t see anyone looking or acting more like a cop here than Don Cheadle. Only if he was wearing a shirt that said “I’m The Police” on it would he have given up his identity and cover earlier, but no one picks up on it, which is probably why they all end up either arrested or dead. Tango’s goal is to make detective, first grade, on the police force. He wants a pay raise, less risk, a desk in an office where he has to wear a suit and tie. He’s not cut out for the street life. But, in order for that to happen, he needs to sell out his long-time friend, the guy who saved his life, the man who also happens to be the most notable name in narcotics in the area. So, will Sal go through with the set-up on Caz (Wesley Snipes), in order to better his own life? Or will he allow his loyalty to put him in a place worse off than the criminals he tries desperately to take down? I think you know how this one plays out. Have you seen “Donnie Brasco,” “Point Break,” “State of Grace” or “Reservoir Dogs”? Then you should have a clue. Snipes isn’t bad in his theatrical return… but he’s not good either. What else could you expect from a role so underwritten, with nothing substantial to do, that Snipes’ screen time is made up mostly of drinking booze, watching girls dance, and… hmmm… that’s about it.

Finally, we get to Richard Gere, the only actor and character worth watching, which is perfect considering how the rest of the movie goes, because there’s not nearly enough of him. Gere plays Officer Eddie Dugan, a cop for 22 years, who is seven days away from his retirement, and not too willing to lift a finger or do any heavy police work during that time, because who wants to put themselves in danger when they’re so close to getting out. The other stories try to construct this bleak life of police officers, due to the choices they have to make in order to protect and serve the common good, while their own lives fall apart around them as they save everyone else’s, but it’s all stuff we’ve seen before. The story of Eddie Dugan though is not. Don’t get me wrong… we’ve seen cops nearing retirement put into perilous situations on their last big case before retirement. However, what draws you to Eddie Dugan is the fact that he doesn’t give a shit anymore. When he’s forced to teach a few young rookies on the force due to his experience on the job, he spends more time telling them what not to do rather than what they should be doing. Dugan is a cop beaten down by being a police officer, which is the side of law enforcement that you never hear about. How does a cop deal with the awful and horrible things they have to see every day – the murders and the beatings and the rapes and the robberies? How much of their work sticks with them forever, as they see someone’s life ruined, destroyed, ended on every shift? This isn’t a man who is ready to retire, because he doesn’t love being a cop. He may have once. He may have been gung-ho about his job and stopping crime and busting bad guys… but not anymore. Eddie is tired… he’s worn-down… he is emotionally exhausted from the baggage that comes with being a cop. That’s not something they teach you before you become an active officer. It’s something you can only learn through experience. The real world experience surpasses anything he could have been taught or read. One can learn how to shoot targets with a gun, but there’s no lesson for what you’ll feel if you have to put that bullet into another human being.

Gere’s character endures the most change of any we see, too. He starts off not caring and progresses that to caring too much. Now, it might be easy to pick on going from one extreme to another, and, of course, there’s the whole subplot with the hooker, but Gere’s job on “Brooklyn’s Finest” is hands-down above everyone else’s on this film. He transforms from the cop who doesn’t care anymore to the cop who remembers what it means to be a police officer, to help those who need it, to enforce the law. If only there were more Gere in “Brooklyn’s Finest,” or, in all honesty, if there was only Gere in this film, it might have made a far more interesting story. Instead what we’re left with is a tale of three men that we know will ultimately end up with everyone coincidentally and convolutedly in the same place at the same time. And, no, that’s not a spoiler… that’s merely stating the obvious.

Will Patton does his usual fine job in a supporting role as Cheadle’s commanding officer. His screen time is limited, but it’s his interactions with Cheadle that get you slightly interested in the situation of Tango, until it’s wasted away again once he leaves those meetings. And Ellen Barkin as FBI Agent Smith feels as if they needed to throw in a useless character with no real purpose whatsoever other than to justify having Ellen Barkin in your movie. What a waste.

The pacing of “Brooklyn’s Finest” is very slow, dragging painfully through the middle third of the flick, which is where most of your interest in the future of these characters will dwindle. There’s just not a lot of interest in what they’re doing during the homestretch to have it really matter to you once we hit the threeway split in one of the projects. It’s not that Antoine Fuqua shot a bad movie. In fact, “Brooklyn’s Finest” isn’t too bad on the eyes in capturing the feel of the city. There are a few long takes that really build the tension of a scene and leave you hanging with anticipation as to where things might go next. But the poorly developed characters quickly ruin that goodwill by not doing anything interesting enough to get me to care. People get shot. People die, and it felt like no big deal, because I hadn’t been given enough for it to have meant anything.

I will say that the cast isn’t merely going through the motions. They are working hard to apply their craft and put forth a strong effort in “Brooklyn’s Finest.” But there’s only so much they can do. With plot lines I’ve seen before, characters that are derivative of plenty others, and a predictable ending, this isn’t a very good film. Surely Brooklyn has much finer to offer up than this.

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Go figure… Marvel Studios has been so careful in making sure to cast the right talent in the right roles that they’ve now put themselves in a better position to land the villain for “The First Avenger: Captain America” than they have in actually settling on who they’d like for the title role. Are you paying attention, Mr. Anderson?

The Hollywood Reporter reports that Marvel and director Joe Johnston have their sights set on Hugo Weaving in the role of Captain America’s archenemy Red Skull. Red Skull served as Hitler’s right-hand man, and, for those unfamiliar with the canon of Captain America, who better to serve on the other side of an American superhero than a former Nazi? Sounds like a match made in heaven… or hell, whichever you prefer.

As it stands right now, Weaving and Marvel have entered into financial negotiations over his inclusion in next summer’s film due to start shooting this summer. Talks are said to be “in a delicate stage” at this point, with Marvel’s negotiating tactics really at the center of whether or not a deal gets done here to make this happen. Marvel is notorious for pinching pennies, in hopes of securing first-rate talent for well below market value in order to keep their budgets in line and maximize their profits. They nearly forced Samuel L. Jackson to walk away from the role of Nick Fury after his appearance in “Iron Man,” as a result of what he felt was a low-ball offer. He eventually came to terms with them on a nine-picture deal, but, in their talks, there was a time where it was believed Nick Fury would either have to be recast with someone willing to work on the cheap or scrapped altogether. The same thing nearly cost “Iron Man 2” Mickey Rourke as Whiplash, as, coming off his Oscar-nominated performance in “The Wrestler,” Rourke felt he should be compensated a bit better than what Marvel was putting on the table. Once again, they eventually saw things through and came to an agreement, but you can bet that, sooner rather than later, the stinginess of Marvel in anteing up for a named talent will prevent them from getting someone they really want, who isn’t drawn in by the fact that it’s a Marvel movie being made.

Weaving has given us plenty of good stuff in the past, namely his role in “The Matrix” trilogy, which is a high point even in the latter two movies, which are nowhere near as good as the original. However, he’s always phenomenal, even as the rest of the films fall apart into absurdity. He was also stellar in “V For Vendetta” and “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. I wasn’t a big fan of his in “The Wolfman” as it felt like he was just playing Agent Smith again. That might be a bit of a concern for Weaving coming aboard “Captain America,” as he would be reunited with his “Wolfman” director, who couldn’t figure out how to use him properly there. However, I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt, and chalk up most of the failure of “The Wolfman” to its poor script. We have yet to get anything truly bad from Weaving, unless you want to count his voice participation in “Transformers 2,” so I’m behind the pick of Weaving as Red Skull. He’s already shown what he can do without showing his face in “Vendetta,” so this seems like a pretty intelligent choice. Now… if we could only get a Captain America here, we’d be in serious business.

Over at Fox, a prequel to “Planet of the Apes” has been in the pipeline for awhile now, as the franchise is due for some sort of new direction following Tim Burton’s disastrous attempt at a revival in 2001. Besides, talking and fighting monkeys…? How can you go wrong there? Well, after writer and director Scott Frank (“The Lookout”) departed “Caesar,” which would have served as a prequel, it was thought that the idea was dead, and it was back to the drawing board. Not so fast… a “Planet of the Apes” is back from the afterlife, alive and kicking, with director Rupert Wyatt (“The Escapist”) signing on to develop the project from a script by Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver, according to Deadline Hollywood.

In fact, “Caesar: Rise of the Apes” looks to be more than just a run of the mill prequel that would tell some semblance of events that took place before the original film, according to CHUD. With the way the story is structured now, with all of its details, “Caesar” would tie directly into the events of “Planet of the Apes,” referencing specific names, places, and events that will take place later in the franchise’s canon.

Now, listen, you damn dirty apes, I understand the freshest “Apes” thing in your mind is of Marky Mark sucking it up in a shitty Tim Burton version that magically did not feature Johnny Depp… and I understand that the four subsequent sequels are a bit on the substandard side. But the original with Charlton Heston that still has you saying “WTF?!” upon the Statue of Liberty reveal is a classic. And, if there is a prequel in mind that pays proper tribute to it, then I’m not as against it as I would be most everything else that comes around with the prequel label attached to it. It could be interesting to see how the apes rose to power over the human race, and, while some of the tension as to how it all ends is removed, knowing where things go in “Planet of the Apes,” it is talking and fighting monkeys. And, if you toss that in, you don’t need much else to sell me.

I’m not a fan of the “Men in Black” films. The Kidd finds them highly overrated, and, stemming from my disinterest in the first two flicks, I would hardly say I care about the in-development “Men in Black 3.” However, when you start tossing out the names of Sacha Baron Cohen and Jemaine Clement, that’s when I start paying attention. According to Bloody Disgusting, Columbia Pictures is seriously moving forward with plans to get this sequel in front of cameras as soon as they possibly can, to the point that casting discussions are underway. While there still is no official word on the returns of either Tommy Lee Jones or Will Smith, apparently there is strong interest to bring Borat and one-half of Flight of the Conchords into things. The gig would be for a character named Yaz, which, to my knowledge is birth control, but… you know how those product placement deals work these days. In any event, the inclusion of these two hilarious individuals has got me wondering if maybe there’s something positive going on here with another “Men in Black” sequel. The script was written by Etan Cohen, who is responsible for two of the funniest and most original movies in recent years (“Idiocracy” and “Tropic Thunder”), so maybe there is hope for this project yet… maybe… After all, a potential two-headed alien that sports the personality of Borat and Jemaine is a damn good start. It’s time to get serious on “Men in Black 3.” It’s time for business… and you know what that means… oh, yeah… it’s business time.

In case you missed it yesterday, Twi-hards, or just didn’t know where to look, here is the teaser trailer for “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.” It has Taylor Lautner shirtless, a pale Robert Pattinson, and an emo-looking Kristen Stewart, meaning that it has everything you’d expect to see in a “Twilight” movie… and I guess more.

Quite a few movies hit theatres this weekend, and The Kidd’s been absolutely slammed in taking them all in, to deliver some honest reviews for you. Hopefully, these will help guide you in your decision-making process if you’ve got a flick on your mind this weekend. Here’s what’s new:
Green Zone
She’s Out of My League
Remember Me

And, if you’re down for winning some cool free stuff, make sure you get yourself entered in any one of our contests currently taking place. You’re running out of time on them, so participate while you can in the following:
advance screening passes to see “How To Train Your Dragon 3-D”
advance screening passes to see “Hot Tub Time Machine”
DVD copies of “The Fourth Kind”

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Until next week…

Is it time to finally allow ourselves to get really excited… like change your pants excited? Can we finally rest easy over the fact that there will be a third Batman film, a follow-up to “The Dark Knight”? Is there reason to be optimistic in another Superman movie, with Bryan Singer essentially out, and Christopher Nolan, for all intents and purposes, in? The answer to all of these questions is extremely positive if you’re a fan of The Man of Steel or the Caped Crusader. It is nothing short of absolutely… and, if you insist on being skeptical or some asshole who insists on fearing for the worst… well, Christopher Nolan will tell you himself that everything is going to be alright. Do you need him to give you a hug, too, while he’s at it? Because, before you even answer, that’s not going to happen.

In his first interview since he was named “godfather” of the next Superman movie, director Christopher Nolan talked to the Los Angeles Times about not only the plans being made for Supes, but also the progress being made on “Batman 3.” Man, talk about details every geek in the world is wondering about. While Nolan kept it very vague as to specific details that would factor into the plots of either, he still was pretty talkative about where his head is at on both franchises. “It’s very exciting; we have a fantastic story. And we feel we can do it right. We know the milieu, if you will, we know the genre and how to get it done right,” he said referring to the Superman movie. And you know what…? I believe him wholeheartedly. How could you not? He’s so committed and convinced that they’ve come up with something that will return Superman to his former glory (before “Superman IV”) he’s using “milieu” in his statements now. How’s that or some fuckin’ confidence?

While Nolan wouldn’t confirm nor deny any rumors that have been floating around about the villain possibilities for a new “Superman,” namely about Lex Luthor and/or Brainiac, he did reveal the truth about David Goyer keeping himself busy by writing the screenplay for the flick, based on a story idea he pulled from his ass while they were trying to hammer out ideas for “Batman 3.”

“A lot of people have approached Superman in a lot of different ways. I only know the way that has worked for us that’s what I know how to do… He basically told me, ‘I have this thought about how you would approach Superman.’ I immediately got it, loved it and thought: That is a way of approaching the story I’ve never seen before that makes it incredibly exciting.” So Goyer came up with an idea in an instant, Nolan loved it instantly, and just like that they came up with something so awesome and original, they had to get it to Warner Bros. in the hopes of making it. And, from that, apparently Warner Bros. flipped their shit for this idea as well, because, if they didn’t, we wouldn’t be talking about Nolan overseeing a new Superman and David Goyer writing it as you read this… unless, of course, he’s taking a break for lunch… or to take a leak… or maybe get some juice… or, well, you get the point.

There isn’t even the slightest indication of directing options, even with Christopher’s brother’s name (Jonathan) being floated around. However, if one thing is for certain, it won’t be Christopher in the slot, as he will only ber serving as a producer on the film, but a big producer with big say and big ideas about how to turn this thing out well, and not like the underwhelmingly disappointing “Superman Returns.” So, expect a very hands-on approach by Christopher Nolan on the next Superman movie… after all, that’s why they pay him the big bucks.

And that brings us to “Batman 3,” a movie that is absolutely happening, with or without Christopher Nolan in the director’s chair. Don’t worry… it would take some drastic set of events for him to not return in such a role, but he has a thing for not confirming his next directorial project until the one he’s working on is finished, so take that for what it’s worth. As soon as “Inception” is complete, Christopher Nolan should drop the news on what we’re all expecting to happen anyway.

In the meantime, Jonathan Nolan is plugging away at getting “Batman 3” into script form, based on a story idea by Jonathan and Goyer. However, there is a bit of sad news in the premise of “Batman 3” taking place: this is going to be it. This will be the last “Batman” movie, at least the last one done by Christopher Nolan, and, as a result, they are treating it as such. “Without getting into specifics, the key thing that makes the third film a great possibility for us is that we want to finish our story. And in viewing it as the finishing of a story rather than infinitely blowing up the balloon and expanding the story… I’m very excited about the end of the film, the conclusion, and what we’ve done with the characters. My brother has come up with some pretty exciting stuff. Unlike the comics, these things don’t go on forever in film and viewing it as a story with an end is useful. Viewing it as an ending, that sets you very much on the right track about the appropriate conclusion and the essence of what tale we’re telling. And it harkens back to that priority of trying to find the reality in these fantastic stories. That’s what we do.”

So, for all of us who have been eagerly awaiting “Batman 3,” this is it. Beyond what will amount to Nolan’s Batman trilogy, who knows what Warner Bros. will decide to do with the franchise? The Dark Knight, both the character and that particular installment in the series, has made the studio a great deal of money, so it would be hard to imagine Batman being put on the shelf with an audience demand to see more of him. Could “Batman 3” be left open-ended to allow for another filmmaker to step in and continue the universe within Gotham City in future movies, and potentially another trilogy? I would hope so. The Kidd believes this take on Batman is too fresh in people’s minds, and, frankly, too good for the word “reboot” to even enter the minds of the suits at Warner Bros., but, as we’ve learned time and time again, anything is possible. It’s just sad to know going in that this is going to be the end for a series of Batman films that, to this point, have been incredible for us to watch as fans.

One final note on Nolan’s vision for “Batman 3” – the villain. While Nolan wouldn’t give even the slightest hint as to who they’re looking at to follow in The Joker’s footsteps, or, for that matter, who his dream casting would be for such a role, he did give on one villain it definitely won’t be. “It won’t be Mr. Freeze.” Good enough for me. The very mention of Mr. Freeze makes me shiver in fear over the Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger dropping bad one liner after one liner in bad blue make-up, and… well, it’s all bad. Get it though…? Shiver…? Ha… I crack myself up.

Robert DeNiro seems to be keeping himself pretty busy as of late. While in the midst of shooting “Little Fockers” and getting to work on bringing another “Midnight Run” to the big screen, DeNiro has attached himself to one more picture, this time as legendary Green Bay Packers head coach Vince Lombardi in a biopic simply titled “Lombardi,” according to The Hollywood Reporter. The project is being developed by ESPN Films and the NFL, among others, and, even though DeNiro’s name doesn’t exactly inspire confidence that a movie of his will be good anymore (see “Everybody’s Fine,” “Righteous Kill,” etc.), perhaps this name will – Eric Roth. Who’s he? The writer who penned “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” “Munich,” “Ali,” “The Insider,” and “Forrest Gump”… the same guy who’ll be writing “Lombardi.” Well, I think it’s safe to say that a little bit of confidence has been restored after reviewing that impressive writing resume. The film looks to focus on the time Lombardi made the Green Bay Packers into a five-time championship dynasty, with a release date being eyed on the off-weekend between the NFC/AFC Championships and the Super Bowl in 2012. You’ve got to hand it to the NFL and its partners here for rolling out a complete marketing strategy to take over yet another weekend with football… it’s a genius idea. Now it’s all up to Robert DeNiro, to see if he can get interested enough in pulling this off well enough for it to be a success. Because, if we get “Showtime” DeNiro, this whole thing could be fucked. “Goodfellas” and “Casino” DeNiro… well, I think it’ll be alright.

Finally, the 3-D revolution is upon us, to the point that it should now be major news when a studio announces that a movie WON’T be released with a 3rd dimension fully intact. Warner Bros. is fully embracing 3-D (…and all of the extra dollars that come with it), announced that two previously planned 2-D releases would now be going full-blown 3-D. The Hollywood Reporter reports that “The Green Lantern” and Zack Snyder’s “Sucker Punch” hope to cash in on people’s desire to wear glasses in order to see things coming out at them from the screen, and I can’t say I blame them. I’m a huge whore for 3-D movies at this point, and it’s encouraging to The Kidd to see the studios rolling out a product that its customers want. Sure, with the increased number of 3-D movies, we’re going to be exposed to handfuls of shitty flicks that are now more expensive and also having their shit being thrown off the screen at you, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make, if it means getting some truly great films to take it up a notch visually in order for us to experience something rather special in 3-D.

BONUS – Just for the Twi-hards out there who have been waiting eagerly, patiently, and desperately… your very first look at “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” is here in teaser trailer form. It has Taylor Lautner shirtless and a pale Robert Pattinson. Enjoy.

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Until tomorrow…

Is there anything that can escape the wrath of the Hollywood remake these days? Of course not. That was meant to be a rhetorical question, but, even if I was looking for a legitimate answer, you’d be hard pressed to find me a movie that’s sacred enough to be off-limits. As you know the horror movies tend to go first, and, if you’re a child of the 80s, a couple of those just fell off the wagon.

For awhile, DreamWorks has been aiming to pull off a remake of “Fright Night,” and it looks like they’re about to make those ideas into a reality, with the Los Angeles Times reporting that the studio is set to hire director Craig Gillespie, who was behind the camera for the very different “Lars and the Real Girl.” Talk about pairings you didn’t see coming. Gillespie is not a horror director by any means, unless you want to take into account his directorial role on “Mr. Woodcock,” in which case I won’t argue with you. However, I’m not sure you’ll find as unique a concept as he brought to life in “Lars,” so it’s hard to really slam the pick. It’s easy to slam the idea of another horror remake, especially with the fondness a lot of people have for the original “Fright Night,” which was a surprising hit in 1985. However, as usual, Hollywood forgets how easy it is for people to Netflix an original, and would rather just pour money into redoing flicks with newer effects, makeup, and technology. They forget the very concept that it’s not necessarily how a movie looks, but how it plays. They can try to make it look as pretty as they want, but, if it fails to capture the spirit of the original, which was successful and is the very reason for you choosing that particular property to remake, then what’s the fuckin’ point? “Fright Night” though has been at the top of the list for DreamWorks to get done for awhile, and this script has been in creation for quite some time now also. So, with that much time, effort, and hopefully care going into it, perhaps this can be one of the few Hollywood manages to get right.

So what’s the other primed for a remake? How about Stephen King’s “Pet Sematary”? The 1989 flick which didn’t exactly do much of anything good is heading back to the drawing board, with “1408” scribe Matthew Greenberg taking the task of trying to put together an adaptation of one of King’s novels that doesn’t suck, according to The Hollywood Reporter. And, let’s face it… most of them do. If you hit some of his earlier works, you’ve got some good stuff in there – “Carrie,” “The Shining,” “Cujo,” “Christine,” “Firestarter,” “Stand By Me.” I’ll even give you “Misery,” The Shawshank Redemption,” and “The Green Mile” later on, which are clearly his best. But “Thinner,” Dreamcatcher,” “The Tommyknockers,” “Needful Things,” “Sleepwalkers,” “The Dark Half”… damn, this list is fuckin’ long. And I didn’t even begin to list the TV miniseries that wasted three and four nights of people’s lives. Screw it… you want to remake bad Stephen King…? Be my guest. In fact, your attempts are welcomed and encouraged. If it keeps you away from the Stephen King that’s translated to the big screen well, then I’m all for it. “Pet Sematary” is hardly on the list of what I would consider “untouchables,” and I’m perfectly fine with an attempt to redo this one, because the original isn’t anything special. And those are the movies that should be remade – the ones which have a lot of room for improvement, the ones that stand to be done better… not the ones which can’t be topped. I enjoyed “1408,” and, for this remake’s sake, I hope Matthew Greenberg can work the same magic on “Pet Sematary” that he did there. He’s also credited as a writer on “Halloween: H20,” the one “Halloween” sequel that’s regarded as not being a complete and total piece of shit… so he’s clearly got some talent working for him.

About a month or so ago, The Kidd told you about Sam Raimi’s plans to bring “The Shadow” back to theatres, so much so that he was considering it as his next project after “Spider-Man 4” died. Well, that doesn’t look to be entirely true. First off, “The Shadow” is no longer under the watchful eye of Sony, and has now positioned the potential Alec Baldwin-less franchise over at Fox. Of course, that might not be the best idea, because… well, do I really have to invoke the name of “Wolverine” again? Of course, there has been some progress over at Fox as of late to show that they might have turned the corner, away from their dedication to making shit… and the potential for this summer’s “Predators” should prove that. Secondly, this won’t be Raimi’s return to the director’s chair, as it looks like he’ll be firmly planting himself in a producing role only, according to Latino Review. And since he doesn’t have any interest in getting behind the camera, talk now moves to who he would want back there, and the name of David Slade, who helmed “30 Days of Night” and this summer’s “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” keeps coming up aces. While “30 Days of Night” didn’t exactly float my boat (in fact, it’s pretty safe to say, it took my boat and put it through a slow, painful, movie-watching experience that ended in my boat seeing nothing that turned out good), I am curious to see what he does with “Eclipse.” Of course, I can see 10 whole seconds of it here, in a teaser to the teaser, which is set to premiere online tomorrow at 6:00 pm EST, but that doesn’t really give me a lot to go on. From what I have heard from Twi-hards, “Eclipse” is the best book of the bunch, so, if Slade can pull it off well, perhaps he’s the right guy to take his obvious dark tones to “The Shadow.” As for Raimi, this can only mean one thing for his next picture… nerds are going to have to get off their asses and away from their computers sooner rather than later, because “World of Warcraft” is coming.

The role of Captain America is now down to two, but that number might be shooting back up with the list apparently being expanded… It looks like Marvel isn’t exactly sold on ANY of their own choices, and they are doing their due diligence to make sure they get this absolutely correct. A lot depends on the character for “The First Avenger: Captain America” and then some, so you can’t blame the studio for being very careful in who they pick… but, at this point, second-guessing yourself can’t lead to anything good.

Finally, it sucks when The Kidd has to end the day on a sad note, and today is one of those days, as we mourn the loss of actor Corey Haim, who died early this morning at the age of 38. Ironically, it was just the other day I was talking to a fan of the site about “License to Drive” and how I wished I owned it on DVD, so I can pop it in and watch the two Coreys (Haim and Feldman) at their best. Of course, I never got a chance to pick it up, and now it’s sad to me that, when I finally do, I’ll be watching an actor who never quite reached his potential due to the substance abuse that derailed his career. There are all types of rumors and talk about what brought about Haim’s untimely death, and, once all the autopsy and toxicology reports come out, we’ll know for sure. So, instead of the speculation, I’d much rather focus on the roles that made Corey Haim known to us. Because, as a product of the 80s, you knew who Corey Haim was. Many teenage girls probably became moist with delight for the first time over Corey Haim, and dudes… well, we just thought he was funny. Whether it was getting his ass demolished on the football field for the love of Kerri Green, lying about passing his driving test, so he could land a date with a drunk and young Heather Graham, fighting vampires led by Kiefer Sutherland with the aid of Feldman and Jason Patric in “The Lost Boys,” or hooking up with a naked Nicole Eggert in “Blown Away,” a movie every teenage guy my age absolutely knew about and saw, Corey Haim was a part of some very memorable films, movies that were a strong part of my growing-up in the 80s. It’s never good to lose another talented individual well before we should. Corey Haim will be missed.

Take part in the contests currently ongoing throughout the site:
advance screening passes to see “How To Train Your Dragon 3-D”
advance screening passes to see “Hot Tub Time Machine”
DVD copies of “The Fourth Kind”

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Until tomorrow…

Every so often, The Kidd has an opportunity to offer up a chance to win some solid prizes to not only our South Florida fan base, but our followers everywhere… this is one of those chances. Courtesy of Universal Home Entertainment, The Kidd has managed to secure DVD copies of “The Fourth Kind,” starring Milla Jovovich, Elias Koteas, and Will Patton. And guess what…? One of those copies will be making its way to you for enjoyment in the comfort of your own home, if you’re among the best of the best to enter our Caption This! Contest.


It’s quite simple… create a caption for this image from the film, and, if we think it’s awesome, you win. That’s it. I’m not sure you can get much easier than that… but you will have to be creatively original in order to land yourself a copy. Whatever angle you choose to come at this from – humorous, serious, etc. – that’s your prerogative. Just make sure it’s your best, and you’ll win yourself a copy of a creepy alien abduction movie (I can’t speak for you… but it sure weirds me out).

E-mail your entry to Contests@InfamousKidd.com with the following subject line:

THIS CAPTION IS BASED ON ACTUAL CASE STUDIES

If you don’t have that subject line exactly, then you don’t have an entry. So cut and paste it, if you must, and be sure you have it perfectly, in all CAPS, or your entry will never even reach us. There’s a specific reason for the subject line needing to be exact, so, if you can’t even follow our first simple instruction than you are done before you ever really got going.

Next, be sure to include your name and, just as importantly, your address. This is a MUST. If your entry has no name, it doesn’t exist. We don’t give prizes to people with no name. We also don’t search for names or hunt for names, so, if your name isn’t clearly visible on your entry, then you’re out. Your name must be in the body of your e-mail. If it’s anywhere else, that’s no good. The same goes for your address, because, if we don’t know where to send your prize, we can’t… and we won’t. So, if you want a shot at winning a free DVD of “The Fourth Kind,” you might not want to forget such vital details.

The deadline for this contest is Monday, March 15, at 11:59 pm EST. Winners will be posted on Tuesday, March 16, just as “The Fourth Kind” becomes available in stores on DVD and Blu-ray. One entry per person per e-mail per name. Therefore, multiple or duplicate entries from duplicate or similar names will be disqualified, as we are able to see the names attached to the accounts you are sending your entries from.

All decisions and rulings are those of The Kidd’s, and my word is final.

Our last Caption This! Contest produced some pretty strong entries for The Kidd to read through. I hope this one does the same, as there’s more to go around to the best on this occasion. Get in while you can, and you may reap the benefits of another Kidd DVD giveaway.

(Read The Kidd’s review of the theatrical release of “The Fourth Kind” here)

Hopefully, everyone is recovering from their Oscar hangover, as we have another year of motion pictures to look forward to surprising and disappointing us. Of course, you may not be getting over the results of The Kidd’s Oscar Challenge as quickly as you’d like. I don’t blame you. A beating like that is pretty hard to swallow, but… well, there’s always next year. With that, let’s get into some of the tender and juicy nuggets of news to come out over Oscar weekend.

While Keanu Reeves looked as clueless as ever during the Academy Awards (how the hell did this idiot ever overcome a bomb on a bus?), it was what he had to say before the ceremony even started that caught everyone’s attention. When asked by MTV News about the possibility of greenlighting a Bill and Ted sequel, Ted “Theodore” Logan responded with “I’m trying,” followed with a “We’ll see,” after he told MTV’s resident jackass and unserious interviewer Josh Horowitz that he wasn’t joking. Of course it’s hard to tell if Keanu Reeves is indeed joking about such sequel talk, because he always has that stupid look on his face… but, even if he is, even if he’s full of shit, even if he’s just playing along with the out-of-nowhereness of the question… would a potential Bill and Ted sequel really be such a bad thing?

Look… everything from the 80s in in danger of being remade these days. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Hollywood didn’t even wait for John Hughes’ body to get cold before they starting aiming for “Ferris Bueller,” “The Breakfast Club,” and “Pretty in Pink,” because they don’t have the balls to take chances on original ideas anymore. So, with even “Teen Wolf” and “The Karate Kid” no longer off-limits, it’s only a matter of time before someone starts fucking with “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” and the underrated yet still not-as-good “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey.” But, what better way to cut off any threat of a remake than to just start up again with a sequel? Exactly… there is no better way, so let’s make this “joke” into a reality. Bill S. Preston, Esquire (besides it’s not like Alex Winter is doing anything notable these days) and Ted “Theodore” Logan putting the band back together for a Wyld Stallyns reunion tour/movie? Fuck yeah.

Bill and Ted’s music affects the world into the future all the way to the year 2688, so it wouldn’t be ridiculous to see Bill and Ted as adults, dealing with their futures as major influences in how the world is shaped towards peace. It also wouldn’t be bad to see Bill and Ted losing their way as they become bigger rock stars now that Wyld Stallyns have become one of the most successful bands in the world, larger than they could have ever imagined, and, as a result, they stray from the path of saving the world with their music to instead nail chicks and get wasted every night. Whatever anyone comes up with, it can’t be as bad as evil robot versions of Bill and Ted… it just can’t. I refuse to accept that there is an idea out there worse than that. Oh, sure, “Bogus Journey” has its moments, but the premise is fuckin’ retarded. So why isn’t this the right time for another Bill and Ted movie?

Keanu Reeves hasn’t made a good movie since the first “Matrix” in 1999, and I might even be a little generous in giving him “The Replacements,” which has some entertainment value due to Gene Hackman being invoved, but, even still, that’s only a year late. Since 2000, he’s given us “The Gift,” “Sweet November,” “Hard Ball,” “Constantine,” “The Lake House,” and the shitty remake of “The Day The Earth Stood Still.” Still that adamant in your dislike for more Bill and Ted? Could it be worse than any of that shit? I doubt it.

Sure, it’d be a bit sad to not have Rufus along for the ride, as the presence of the late George Carlin will be sorely missed. But that doesn’t mean firing up the phone booth, and maybe even bringing back Abraham Lincoln, Genghis Khan, Socrates, Napoleon, and the rest of the historical figures from the original flick, wouldn’t be a good time. I think this could be a fun return for the original Beavis and Butt-Head, and it would be an excellent opportunity to introduce them to a new generation that has no idea who the fuck Bill and Ted are. Whether Keanu Reeves is fucking around or not, strange things could be afoot at the Circle K… but, more importantly… SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!!!

A few months ago, Steve Guttenberg came back from the dead to reveal that not only was another “Three Men and a…” sequel in development, but he’d like to see the same thing happen for “Police Academy.” Well, when The Guttenberg asks, he shall receive. According to The Hollywood Reporter, New Line is looking to reboot the series, and original producer Paul Maslansky is back in the same capacity to help make it happen. “It’s going to be very worthwhile to the people who remember it and to those who saw it on TV,” said Maslansky. “It’s going to be a new class. We hope to discover new talent and season it with great comedians. It’ll be anything but another movie with a numeral next to it. And we’ll most probably retain the wonderful musical theme.” After “Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol,” they were just too dumb for me to bring myself to watch, although if you ask me in private, I’d tell you off the record that I can’t help myself from watching “Police Academy 6: City Under Siege” if I ever see it on. Oh, wait… damn. Forget you ever read that.

I’m not sure that, after seven “Police Academy” movies, there’s a need or a demand for one more, even if they want to start fresh. After starting off as R rated adult comedies, they turned into PG flicks friendly enough for kids that they spawned a cartoon series. So which way are they going to go with relaunching what could be a very bad idea? Will they go back to their roots, in which case I might be able to get behind something more in line with the tone of the original “Police Academy”? Or do we get the shit that was ultimately the reason people stopped watching these movies, because they were unfunny, terrible, and written with 8-year-olds in mind? Because if that’s the direction, you just know Dane Cook will be in this thing, and… fuck it… what’s the point then? No, seriously… what’s the point? Sure, I love the “Police Academy” theme, but that’s no reason to go off and make another movie. Man, they’ll reboot anything these days, won’t they? On a side note, did you know that a “Police Academy” DVD box set exists, where you could own all seven movies? Who the fuck would buy something like that? But, even more frightening, who the fuck loves “Police Academy 7” that much that they just HAD to own the whole collection to go along with it? What a sad state of affairs.

If there’s a movie that The Kidd will stop and watch on cable, no matter what time of the day it is or what part it’s at, it would be “Midnight Run.” Robert DeNiro and Charles Grodin in a classic buddy road movie between two characters that absolutely hate each other… does it get any better than that? Oh, it also co-starred John Ashton, Dennis Farina, and Joey Pants… so, no… it doesn’t get any better than this. But that won’t stop them from trying to surpass it. The Hollywood Reporter reports that Universal is developing a sequel to “Midnight Run,” with DeNiro set to produce and return as bounty hunter Jack Walsh. Timothy Dowling, who penned the hilarious “Role Models,” has landed the job to script this project, which looks to pair DeNiro up with someone younger… meaning the only Charles Grodin we might get here is in cameo form. There’s also no word on if any of the other cast members from the original would be reprising their roles, which would be a mistake, because, as well as DeNiro and Grodin played off each other in the original, it was the supporting cast that really brought the film together as a whole. Apparently, DeNiro came around on the idea of doing another “Midnight Run” while shooting “Little Fockers,” so, at least something good might come of that production. I still don’t know how I feel about this sequel, without too many details about where it’ll be going. However, if it’s even only half as good as the original, that’s not bad. “Midnight Run” is great, and arguably could be considered the gold standard when it comes to buddy road movies. So, something only half as good as great is still pretty good… and it’ll have DeNiro back in a role we know he can pull off, so, unless I hear some drastically bad news attached to this “Midnight Run” sequel, I’ll see you in L.A., Marvin, with this one.

Could we getting closer to an announcement as to who will be carrying the shield of Captain America? Two names have dropped from Marvel’s leaked short list (here and here), leaving five others still in running. Who will it be? We should learn soon enough… but, then again, just because we should doesn’t mean that we will.

Finally, don’t count out ever seeing a sequel to “District 9” just yet. When pressed on the Oscar red carpet about whether he was working on that sequel that has been tossed about and rumored heavily as of late, director Neill Blomkamp told MTV News, “I’m working on another sci-fi film, but I want to make the sequel. I’m just doing something else now.” So that doesn’t shut the door on another visit to South Africa with the prawns, and it doesn’t mean that the prequel route direction will be the direction Blomkamp wants to go with it either. It only means that it could be awhile before we see what the future may hold for Wikus… or what the past held for the prawns upon their arrival to Earth. However, it’s always a good sign when the director (in this case, Neill Blomkamp) has interest in returning. When the time is right, we could return to “District 9.” Until then, don’t hold your breath, because, if it’s going to happen, it’ll only go down when Neill Blomkamp wants it to.

Fresh from my post-Oscar day off, The Kidd is already delivering some awesomeness to you. Two brand-spankin’-new contests are up and running, offering you a chance to win advance screening passes to take a dip with “Hot Tub Time Machine” and also to teach me how to train a dragon with “How To Train Your Dragon” in 3-D. Wow… want to catch an early look at either movie? The Kidd’s got your tickets. You just have to earn them, so visit those contest pages for details, and get your entries in.

And, if you think that’s all I’ve got in store for you… just you wait…

Follow the Infamous Twitter. Fan the Infamous Facebook.

Until tomorrow…

Many of you (24, in fact) took up The Kidd’s Oscar Challenge, attempting to best me at picking the winners of each and every Academy Award category. After going through each and every entry, scoring every selection each of you made, and tallying your correct predictions, The Kidd can say proudly that I turned away every single attempt to do better than me…

Except one.

Congratulations are in order for REUBEN PEREIRA. While The Kidd put up a respectable record on Oscar Sunday of 16-8, Reuben stepped up to the plate and managed to slay me with an even better 18-6. While I hate to lose, I have no choice but to commend Reuben for, this year, being just a bit more Infamous than The Kidd when it comes to picking the Oscars. It was a hard fought battle, but the best man emerged on this day, as the sole winner of The Kidd’s Oscar Challenge.

Many other tried and failed, as I vanquished their attempts. Several came close, with even a tie or two thrown into the mix… but, I’m sorry. Close only count in horseshoes and hand grenades, so I’ve got nothing for you here. Better luck next year.

Reuben, on the other hand, will be handsomely rewarded for his outstanding efforts, and, for those of you who are curious, here is Reuben’s entry ballot (with incorrect predictions in red, and the actual winner in that category in blue):


Best Picture
The Hurt Locker

Best Actor
Jeff Bridges – Crazy Heart

Best Supporting Actor
Christopher Waltz – Inglourious Basterds

Best Actress
Sandra Bullock – The Blind Side

Supporting Actress
Mo’Nique – Precious

Best Director
Kathryn Bigelow – The Hurt Locker

Best Documentary Feature
The Cove

Best Documentary Short
The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant
Music by Prudence

Best Animated Feature
Up

Best Foreign Language Film
El Secreto de Sus Ojos – Argentina

Best Original Screenplay
Mark Boal – The Hurt Locker

Best Adapted Screenplay
Geoffrey Fletcher – Precious
Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner – Up in the Air

Best Cinematography
Avatar

Best Art Direction
Avatar
Sherlock Holmes

Best Animated Short Film
Logorama
A Matter of Loaf and Death

Best Live Action Short Film
The Door
The New Tenants

Best Visual Effects
Avatar

Best Costume Design
The Young Victoria

Best Film Editing
The Hurt Locker

Best Sound Mixing
Avatar
The Hurt Locker

Best Sound Editing
The Hurt Locker

Best Original Score
Up

Best Original Song
“The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” – Crazy Heart

Best Makeup
Star Trek


Thanks for playing. Your efforts were valiant, but just not good enough.

Until next year…